You have the power to allow energy to flow or to be blocked.
I choose to allow LOVE.
Now, I know you would expect that from me, right? I mean, I am the Defender of Self-Love!
But here's the thing, I'm still in progress.
I still struggle with my body image at times.
I still worry if I'm giving what I feel people need.
I still fret over finances -- despite my desire for abundance and focus on reducing a "lack" mentality.
I had a photo shoot with Lani Lloyd - she's amazing. There were expenses that I budgeted for, however, because I live in a one bedroom apartment, my "bed" is a couch/bed in my living room/office/bedroom. Not so very sexy or photogenic.
In order to make these photos AH-MAZING, we needed a room that would work.
$300 later, I had a hotel room.
$300 I didn't have. Really.
Can you say BLOCK?
I shut down my heart to panic about money.
I was a hot mess all weekend...UNTIL...the photos began.
I'm not sure if it was any one thing that spurred on the flow of positive energy that filled my body that Sunday morning.
What I do know, is that the experience turned into something I never expected, and honestly, something I have never felt before.
Okay, there was some -- actually LOTS -- of pain, but so much laughter! Now I know why models get paid well. It's WORK.
But in those moments of posing and just BEING, I felt alive.
I felt unstoppable.
I felt fierce.
I felt LOVE pouring out of me.
I felt that I was truly Loving MYSELF for exactly who I was for the first time.
Yes, I was half-naked in front of 3 people I barely knew.
But it didn't matter.
I was feeling my body move, breathe, and play.
I was relaxed and totally OPEN to whatever Roxy (my inner diva) wanted to show the world.
I opened myself up to LOVE.
I allowed myself to put all things aside and just BE in the moment.
I allowed myself to feel as beautiful and sensual as I know my spirit was born to be.
And after the eyelashes (AKA: Eye Spiders) came off, and my sweatshirt, workout pants, and boots went back on, I took a look at the Polaroid shot Lani gave me.
And I cried.
Who the fuck knew that I could embrace my sensuality to soothe my soul yet ignites a charge of fierce feminine fire to my life (and eventually -- the world)?
And the first step is right in front of you.
Love YOU More