It seems that the trials of my life have sucked the joy from my spirit and my body.
I'm not just a machine that moves through life, I'm a celestial creature. Born of stardust and gently placed here to be an angel of some kind.
I have scars and curves and sensations that I've either abused or hidden away. I love with all I have as a way to find my place in the world.
I never used to celebrate these things.
I hated my body for so long. Some days I still struggle with this. I try to love my body, even the broken bits (my hip, for example). I am proud of how my body has made it through all the crazy experiences of my life. She has worked hard. Too hard. To the point of illness and back again.
My heart and empathy has caused so much hurt, but it has also taught me that I will be okay, no matter the pain. I celebrate the lessons, the tears (you know I'm a cryer!), hugs, and kisses I've been blessed to experience.
Still I struggle with my mind - that inner anxious voice. The voice that tells me, "You aren't good enough," "It's all your fault," and "If you want to be loved, you have to earn it."
This year, I will not engage in the self-sabotage. I will not engage in the critic. I will not engage with the defensiveness.
That is no longer who I want to be. I'm not just a machine. I am a fierce feminine spirit.
I want to embrace ME fully. My femininity. My softness. My body. My heart. My soul. For ME.
I've got some work to do.
Get out of my head and into my body!
*Move my body in new ways and be conscious of the sensations this brings.
Nourish my body the best way possible.
*Less coffee (ACK!) and more water
NOW THIS NEXT ONE...used to feel "fake" and "too luxurious" for a woman like me.
Now, I realize, I DESERVE this.
Take care of the physical to show my heart outwardly.
To me, this means: treat this vessel that the world sees with the same care I give my heart.
*Dress well. I want to feel REGAL. (okay, maybe not EVERY single day...because some days I am in my workout clothes or PJs all day)
*Do my hair. My hair is my crown. I want it to shine.
*Put on makeup. My eyes are the portal to my soul. I want people to see me SEE them -- just as they are.
This is all still ME. I am being real with you. But mascara and some nice clothes just FEELS GOOD.
You know what else feels good?
Yeah, being "emotional" like that, is a gift. Embrace it. Men are just jealous. ;)
You deserve to FEEL into your body. Express your emotions. And create a year that feels good to YOU.
My first feeling word of the year is Feminine.
How about you? I'd love to hear.
*Comment over on the Facebook Group: The Love YOU More Project