Motherhood is hard work, no question about it.
Your littles depend on you for their survival. They also seem to slowly kill your energy, patience and possibly your soul.
You were someone before children.
You had a different identity.
Do you miss her?
It’s okay if you do. In fact, it’s quite normal.
She isn’t gone. She’s just hiding.
Don’t forget about her, she needs nurturing too.
More often than not, we put ourselves last. Which is ridiculous because who is the person that runs the show?
Think about it this way:
What happens when your “top employee” gets sick? Do you make sure they take care of themselves so they can keep the ship running smoothly? Of course you do!
The question is:
Why don’t we do the same for ourselves?
YOU are the greatest asset to the “business.” The business of your family and your life.
What might change if you treated yourself as if you were the priority?
That’s what the Love YOU More Project is all about. Giving you a space to be who YOU are when you aren’t “mom.” To remember what you love about yourself and to rekindle the dreams you may have had that faded into the darkness with your baby that never sleeps. As much as that seems unfathomable right now, you CAN (and will be) the leader of your life!
In order to lead your life,
you have to be willing to love yourself MORE.
Loving yourself means so many things, but today, we are going to chat a bit about self-care.
What are you doing about self-care right now?
And before you answer that, I want to share with you my idea of what self-care means.
To me, self-care is self-respecting behavior towards oneself. Treating yourself like YOU matter. Taking care of yourself first, to keep you healthy, sane, and whole.
I also believe there are levels of self-care, giving a working mom hope! Now, I know there are tons of articles that spout self-care as pedicures, massages, and coffee dates with friends. And that's wonderful!
What's also wonderful is that self-care can be much simpler than the typical pampering.
At the other end of the spectrum, self-care is navigating the radically difficult things in life and overcoming them.
The type of self-care that you practice will absolutely depend on what season of life you are in.
As a new mom, I was LUCKY to take a shower.
As a working mom or toddlers, peeing alone was a GIFT.
Once my kids were in school full time, I had more space to use my brain. This is when I remembered how much I ENJOYED reading, writing, and speaking.
Now, my kids are 9 and 11. They are definitely more self-sufficient, which means, I'm practicing self-care REGULARLY and taking big strides in practicing my resilience: overcoming fear by doing the hard and scary things to grow myself and my business.
Self-Care for EVERY Working Mom:
Level ONE: Basic Needs
- Showering at least once every few days
- Eating things OTHER than chocolate and coffee
- Drinking water, not including the water you used to make your coffee
- Moving your body 15 minutes/day any way you can!
- Sleeping 5-7 hours per night, ideally uninterrupted
Level TWO: Nurturing Yourself
- Quiet moments - breathing, reading, writing, just being still
- Getting regular exercise - breaking a sweat!
- Reading books that stimulate your mind
- Learning something new - taking a class, attending a workshop, conversation with other humans
- Taking time JUST FOR YOU -- alone, with friends, maybe a massage or something that feels like a treat
Level THREE: The REAL Stuff
- Doing level one and level two self-care even when it’s hard - yes, dragging yourself out of bed for that 6am exercise class
- Honoring your desires and needs - no more hiding behind other's needs
- Setting boundaries to protect your energy and time
- Making your voice heard - ask for what you need and speak your mind
- Not hiding behind your “obligations” to stay in your comfort zone
- Instead of complaining, you take action in your life
- Doing something NEW and SCARY
- Working on relationships that bring you joy and say goodbye to those that drain you
Before you freak out at the above list, REMEMBER:
Everyone starts at different levels depending on the season of life and your current situation.
There is no need to feel less-than.
Embrace the level of self-care you are currently practicing and make note of your progress. It will ebb and flow with life. Take some of that love you give the world and shine it back on YOU, on small step at a time.
Love YOU More.
What is one act of self-care that you will practice today? I'd love to hear.
Download the Three Levels of Self-Care Checklist HERE.
If you would like to learn more and go deeper about the three levels of self-care and other self-discovery topics, join us for the Life Leaders Membership. Enrollment opens the last week of every month! Get on the wait-list today.
You can also join the conversation over on our Facebook Group: The Love YOU More Project.
If you are just getting started, I encourage you to sign up for the FREE downloadable mini-program: Discover Your Non-Negotiables